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SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE

One of our deepest needs is to be loved.  Most of our conflicts in our attempts to be loved are problems with attachment, and the answer to our attachment problems is faith. 

The Secure Attachment style will include a person who views themselves as worthy of love and capable of obtaining love.  Another attribute is that they view others as trustworthy to provide a safe haven for them.  Since no one on earth can ever be totally relied upon in all circumstances, truly secure attachers place their ultimate reliance on God.  The Lord Jesus Christ promises He will never leave us nor forsake us.  Hebrews 13:5, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

Those with secure attachment styles are able to freely give of themselves without requiring anything in return.  Commitment, which is a sign of unconditional attachment, may be expressed through the making of a covenant, such as marriage.  In attachment, we make our heart so vulnerable to the other person that we trust them with our reputation, share our inner-most thoughts and words, sharpen each other’s character, and offer our strength and power to make the other person feel safe.  At this level of attachment, it is easy to relax and have confidence in others.

Those with secure attachment styles will never leave or abandon us no matter what happens.  Again, this is a very safe feeling place of attachment.  Because secure attachers are secure, they can be counted on to do what is right in the long term best interests of everyone involved.  Secure attachers will even sacrifice their own interests for the sake of another. This is the clearest sign of true love.