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THE AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT STYLE

Unlike the Secure Attacher who readily feel worthy of love, those with ambivalent attachment styles do not believe they are worthy of the love and the support of others unless they perform adequately to deserve that love.  Ambivalent attachers view others as safe and trustworthy to provide a safe haven for them, so they will try to please others since they believe that this will make them acceptable to be loved by them.

Low self worth is one of the trident thought and feeling of such attachers.  They need to be re-assured that their value and self worth is not contingent, nor measured by production, ability, or action.   A re-occurrence of behavior is that they will continue to pursue unreliable attachment figures even after they prove themselves unsafe hoping to perform well enough to be accepted by them.